"But let him ask in faith, nothing doubting: for he that doubteth is like the surge of the sea driven by the wind and tossed." (James 1:6 ASV)
A lot of changes have taken place in my life recently and one would think that I would learn that God will do what God will do in His time and according to His plan. But I haven't, it would seem.
Many things had to happen for the transition from marriage to single life took place. We weren't allowed to break our lease, a change from three months prior where they said we could. I had to either take a smaller place in the complex or fork over thousands for a place I would no longer be. Problem was that I had placed a security deposit, non-refundable, on a perfectly located house in the Finnish community here, and lost it because I couldn't take possession.
So money suddenly became a major issue. And quickly. With the continued drain on the finances to support the family, I wasn't going up anytime soon and I could've stressed about it. I did, a little. But I told my accountability partner that I trusted in God to deliver either the funds themselves or to provide the means to meet the need. And so began the month long battle between realization of that trust and failing humanely to do so.
But I stabilized in the last few weeks, even though it seemed the pressures increased. Instead of flexing between 'what if' and 'I need', I stayed at the place of "God will as God wills".
Yesterday, I was informed that the lease was available to be signed on the two-bedroom townhouse I'll be struggling to afford for the nine-months that I'll have to live there. This was a victory in itself, as they had wanted me to sign a twelve-month lease. They were willing to give me a nine at the twelve rate. God had indeed stayed their hand there. But, the lease needed to be signed with the 847.00 rent. I had 250.00.
Calls to the would've been landlord went unreturned. I threw up my hands and bowed my head…"God, I know that this process for the last year has been one to teach me patience and endurance……Do You think You can knock loose 600.00 as a kinda reward for my growth?"
Someone came by and gave me a check for 500.00. And suddenly I was only 100.00 short. But, as I remarked to one of my friends….."I'll take it and be glad." I praised God and His glory for this gift and yet, He wasn't done. My accountability partner said that the 100.00 would be taken care of as well.
Suddenly I went from not having enough to anticipating moving……… I went to the Lease office to sign the new lease and the lease was made out for twelve months. I explained it all to the landlord that I was to have a nine and she's returning it to the office this morning to make sure that is true. The person who does the transfer lease is different from the one who I spoke to, so I am trusting God that this was simply a communication snapfu.
That being so, I'll sign my lease this evening and begin the process of healing, restoration, and rediscovery of the life God is leading me to. Although the marriage has ended, on biblical grounds, the process has changed me and grown me to be a better man in pursuit of God's heart.
In peace…..
